SPECTACULAR ART HEIST!! (AKA Gimme 'Da Loot)

From CNN:

"....Three masked men stole four Impressionist paintings worth about $163 million in a heist Swiss police characterized as "spectacular."

The three men entered the E.G. Buehrle Collection in Zurich, Switzerland, at around 4:30 p.m.

One of the men threatened personnel at the museum's front door with a pistol and forced them to the ground, while the other two men went into an exhibition room and stole four oil paintings by Paul Cezanne, Edgar Degas, Claude Monet and Vincent van Gogh.

Afterward, the three men loaded the paintings into a white car parked in front of the museum and then drove off."

This is a "spectacular" heist? This was a corner store stick-up. 3 guys, a gun and a van. Wow. Spectacular. They walked in the front door with guns. Their van was parked right out front. A WHITE van. That must have been really hard to spot.

The Swiss need to start watching The Wire. If Omar gets a whiff of this he'll be picking off their re-ups in no time.

Michael Vick's Dogs

NYT article reporting on the long road of rehabilitation for these dogs and the unfathomable cruelty they endured for the sake of gambling.

That photo kills me. Straight through the heart.

The State Of The Union: Foreclosures, Bush, Wal-Mart and Hard Math

Foreclosures are up 75% in 2007.

President Bush's approval ratings are in the low 30's.

Wal-Mart is dropping its prices 10-30%.

"Yet Mr. Bush devoted relatively little of his 53 minute speech to the economy, the issue that is the top concern of voters during this election year. He spent far more time talking about the issue that has been his own primary concern, Iraq."

Mr. Bush made the case that his troop buildup had “achieved results few of us could have imagined just one year ago” (NYT)

When the man is right, he's right. Few of us could have imagined losing our homes, or resigning ourselves to the reality that there will be permanent bases and troops in Iraq for the next 20 years or so, or that people in Kenya would be getting hacked to death and not a peep about it is heard out of the White House since they don't even have enough money to order pizza, let alone send some military manpower to help out, or....

Nothing seems to add up anymore.

On the bright side, President Bush did say he will give $300 million dollars for scholarship money to low-income children in struggling schools.

A whole $300 million. Wow. The current running tab of the war is at $489,852, 420, 319. Yes, that's in billions. Bush's dedication to education in America is the equivalent of you going out and buying a kick-ass $20,000 stereo system while being responsible enough to set aside a whole nickel for your child to eat.

Let's hope the mathematics of the next election make a little more sense.

The Bird, the Bunny and Shadow Art

Shadow art made from garbage. Weird, but kinda cool.

I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC (aka I'm Ba-rack, and I'm Hill-ar-y)

'Nuff said.

Kate Hawn Goldie Hudson Matthew Russell Kurt McConaughey (or Fool's Gold Overboard)

Aren't these essentially the same movie?

And here's another interesting thing:

Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson: not my favorite actresses, but I like them. They're cute, spunky, and fun. Nothing to dislike about either of them.

Kurt Russell and Matthew McConaughey: two actors I used to like. Now - not so much.

Obama

Barack Obama's speech at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia on the day before MLK Day is not only rousing and inspiring, but I believe it may one day be looked back upon as the speech that shook the fence of the undecided and made him President.

It's 30 minutes long and worth every minute.

I also recommend reading Andrew Sullivan's article on "Why Obama Matters" from The Atlantic.

There Will Be Blood (P.S. I Love You)

The human mind and soul are always searching something new. Something to improve life on earth. An idea that fuels us toward progress; "Life, he thought, was motion. Life was forward motion." - Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged.

Finally, another genius of our species has spent long days, maybe weeks or years, devoted to conceptualizing and realizing a tool that was decidedly lacking from our lives.

The Blood Pen.

I can barely count how many times I wished for an easier way to sign my name in my own blood than the tried and true method of scotch taping peanuts to my forearm and playing dead in the park until the squirrels nibble their way into a vein or two.

I haven't been this excited since they came out with the upside-down ketchup bottle.

Clay Python, Monty Aiken

Ripped from the headlines:

NEW YORK (AP) -- Clay Aiken, who joins the cast of "Monty Python's Spamalot" this week, says its humor was initially lost on him.

"The first time I saw it I thought it was the stupidest thing I'd ever seen in my entire life," the "American Idol" runner-up told Newsweek. "My tour drummer is the 'Spamalot' drummer, and (he) said you've got to see it again."

Aiken plays one of the leads, Sir Robin...

Clay went on to say:

"I thought Monty Python was a person until three months ago."

Dude, are you kidding me?

There is absolutely no way he understands how utterly embarrassing that is.

Something to cleanse your aural palette here.

Biological Clock

This is what my biological clock probably looks like.




Buy it here.

The Psychology of Color (coloUr for the Canadians)

Blue is said to have a calming effect on people.
....
......
........

Feel better?

Blue - Joni Mitchell

Drunk Astronauts

A report surfaced this week stating that some Astronauts have been flying drunk.

Yes, you read it right. That did say ASTRONAUTS. Guys and gals who fly into SPACE.

The astronauts in questions are from NASA. Not some Bad News Bears type outfit, like the Jamaican bobsledding team, but NASA.

Here's an excerpt from a CNN report on the matter:

"NASA said Friday it was going to take immediate action after a report raised safety questions about astronauts drinking before flying missions. The space agency said astronauts flew drunk at on at least two occasions, despite warnings from doctors and colleagues that they posed a flight risk."

Despite warning from doctors and colleagues?! NASA actually admitted that there were people (DOCTORS and colleagues no less) who knew astronauts were flying drunk, who went so far as to actually WARN the astronauts that maybe it wasn't a good idea to fly drunk, but still ALLOWED them to do it?? Again, in case you missed it the first time, we're talking about NASA ASTRONAUTS FLYING DRUNK and the staff at NASA not having the cohones to take the keys to daddy's new space shuttle from them.

The article then goes on to say:

" The report was prompted by the arrest of former astronaut Lisa Nowak, who was accused in February of the attempted kidnapping of a romantic rival."

What the fuck is going on at NASA? Does going into space make you crazy? Or maybe there is some real sci-fi stuff going on. Maybe the astronauts are hosts to an extra-terrestrial parasite they picked up somewhere out on the final frontier which inhibits all reason and common sense and makes them think they are actually living in the movie "Porky's".


From these allegations has come the brilliant recommendation that "NASA develop a code of conduct for astronauts."

Wow.
How the mighty has fallen.

NASA should be above needing a code of conduct. Shouldn't they? I don't want to come off as self-righteous here - I fully expect astronauts to party and get their drunk on. They're astronauts, for christ's sake. They fly into space for a living. They're rock stars. They are not like you and I, or even me and you. They have earned the right to party like it's 1999; just not like they make 9.99 an hour. However, we, the regular-down-home-kinda-folk, should be able to preserve the image of our astronauts out there in deep space, as bigger than life heroes like Buck Rodgers - not out there going buck wild.

6 Words

Ernest Hemingway once claimed he could write a great story in six words or less. (Some say it was a bar bet put to him). He followed that braggadocio up by keeping his word with what he felt was his best prose ever. His story:


"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."


I thought I'd give one a try. My Story:

"Missed flight. It crashed. Now I drive."

Shit, that's 7 words.

Moron, Idiot, Imbecile

Here's something very good to know:

The words moron, idiot and imbecile are NOT interchangeable.

Of the three, moron indicates the highest level of intelligence, followed by an imbecile and then an idiot.

Remember - words do mean something. Choose them carefully.

Dog in a Bar

Here's one of the many reasons I love Montreal;

You can have a dog in a bar.